Shall WE Begin?

Shall WE Begin?
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Shall WE Begin?

Shall WE Begin?: My father did his job of bringing me to this world, then he went home. I still don’t understand that math. I’ve seen enough movies, read enough books and had enough conversations to let the dead rest but it is hard. Asides my relationship with God (my spiritual father), I feel lacking in the earthly dad department – always have – and I know I’m not the only one.

I am very sure there are people reading this right now that already have insults piled up, and speeches of ‘be a man’, but I don’t care. You might as well add it to your list of causes and protests – #beaman

What do we even gain from focusing our lenses in other people’s lives instead of cleaning the dust from ours? What do we gain burying ourselves in screens instead of scoping out mother nature and listening to innovation screams? What do we gain when we thrive to cause pain and hurt instead of love?

We mostly complain about the government, men in power, churches, educational institutions and other top dogs not caring about our well-being as a people, but what we fail to do is checkmate ourselves out here. Charity, they say begins at home, so why not be the change you so fiercely yearn for. If you want favour, assist someone else. Peace? Become a Pacifist! Bear in mind though, “thou shalt not be stupid in the pursuit of bettering thy life”. Yeah! The Prof says so. Someone should write that down, it’s going to be one of the world’s famous quotes.

See ehn… I have always known that I am a very big piece on this mighty jigsaw puzzle, and the fates just picked me up to place me in my spot. I know this and you all are going to know it too. Just watch!

Come on, smile a little – didn’t mean to go full-on Khocee. One of God’s son recently reminded me that I am a city on the hill; and I, as a human being, am way more powerful than I think.

I have stayed indoors for quite some time now and inasmuch as I enjoy it; I’ve been activated, so stand firm and hold on to what keeps your engine running because as long as you’re reading this words you have already tapped into a new frequency and tuned in to a special channel.

My dad!

That’s the topic that got my fingers working in the first place. I never got to meet him and that left a very big hole in me for a minute. I don’t know why I decided to share with you today, like pouring out the demons from my abyss, spilling my guts. Guess I’m tired of dragging them up this hill.

This time of the year, every year, has had me cultivate the routine of chilling in a bad centre because growing up almost every one I met that knew my dad didn’t fail to stick it to me how amazing he was, never stopping to ask how I was doing. I will explain that last statement in a later write-up.

I earlier said I feel lacking in the earthly dad department, well it don’t stop there. I feel like I’m floating most times. Don’t get me wrong please. I know my destination and I have my toolkit handy, I have taken a couple of detours and many times the gps don’t work so I get stuck driving in circles through the fog, but I am still driving. I need to stay on course and God has got me but I also feel like I need a physical representation of fatherhood, but I am clueless. Who isn’t though?

I am sure I am not making any sense but that’s just how my brain works. I have not the faintest idea of how to express exactly how I feel and that’s bad for a so-called writer, right?

Written by Professor Khocee Wilson-Ejikeme

2 Replies to “Shall WE Begin?”

  1. Wow! You think you dunno how to express yourself? Really? You just gave me an insight on a huge part of you I never thought existed. I’m really sorry you didn’t get to know your dad, I can’t even begin to imagine how that feels.
    I think I understand what you mean when you say, they never stopped to ask how you’re doing. You can’t blame them, cos most people don’t really know when they are being insensitive. It takes a high level of perception to notice when you’re crossing the line.
    My advice is think carefully. There’s always someone who played the role of a father in your life. You need to remember who wasn’t there but most importantly focus on who was. It’s hard growing up without a dad. But I’m sure if he was alive he’d be proud of the brave man you’ve turned out to be.

  2. Nice read, Khocee.

    Irrespective of everything, I’m sure the absence of your dad is teaching you — in ways you probably don’t see now– how to be an awesome Father.
    I’m sure you’re going to do a crazy ass job in this fatherhood thing.

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